Random Riffs
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Who in the Land is Fairest of All?
October
27
2009
The reply was always; "You are, your Majesty," until the dreadful day when she heard it say, "Snow White is the loveliest in the land." The stepmother was furious and, wild with jealousy, began plotting to get rid of her rival. Calling one of her trusty servants, she bribed him with a rich reward to take Snow White into the forest, far away from the Castle. Then, unseen, he was to put her to death. What is it with these brothers Grimm and their apparent fascination with wicked stepmothers and equally malevolent stepsisters? Grist for someone’s PhD thesis mill I suppose.
Within an hour or so of September’s “Chickens & Eggs; Functions & Forms” Random Riff publication, I received this e-mail from Jane Garthson.
Very interesting - the opposite from my approach but that's why I love talking to peers. I have been urging organizations for years to stop admiring themselves in their mirrors and hearing mostly from the clients, staff and volunteers who choose to come to and stay with them. I use a mirror, pretend to primp, and then get them to get up and look out a window (if the room has windows; if not, imagination is fine). I'd ask, “Which potential clients, donors, volunteers are avoiding you and why? What do you see out there in your community that doesn't match the demographics inside your organization?” Of course, I encourage them regularly consult a wide range of stakeholders, not just supporters.
Jane’s right – there are narcissists out there who’ve yet to meet a mirror they don’t love − or at least for as long as their mirrors tell them that they’re the fairest in the land.
Here’s an example of what Jane’s talking about.
I had, as a client, the CEO of a large manufacturing firm who, while perhaps not being the fairest in his land, was unquestionably the fittest. Bright, energetic and, oh yes, wilful, he was accustomed to getting his way. I was there because a major reorganization wasn’t going quite the way it was supposed go. I interviewed his senior team and their teams and their teams’ teams. And the further I got away from the office of the CEO, the grimmer (no pun intended) the stories became.
I met with the fittest in the land and shared with him a delicious irony and that was that he was, at the same time, both the most powerful and the most vulnerable person in the organization. And it was his power that made him vulnerable. Cool, huh? Well, OK – not cool for him. He only knew what he was told and much of what he was told wasn’t so. That made him vulnerable. And then, of course, there was the withholding of things he should have been told. And that made him vulnerable too. It’s an old story: powerful people attract sycophants who tell them that they’re the fairest in the land. These stories don’t end well. The narcissists and the mirroring sycophants go down together. Good riddance - were it not for the fact that they generally take the innocent with them.
But this wasn’t the kind of mirror being recommended to me by my friend in the Dublin pub. If you really want to learn how to wiggle your ears, then you need a mirror that will accurately reflect the experiments you’re conducting with little or rarely used facial muscles. What my powerful/vulnerable CEO really needed was a senior team that was prepared to speak truth to his power.
Speaking truth to power, however, is a risky business − just ask Fortune’s Bethany McLean and the Wall Street analyst, Richard Grubman, when they questioned Jeffrey Skilling about Enron’s accounting practices. Or Sherrin Watkins, Enron’s VP Corporate Development, when she confronted Kenneth Lay with the same issue. Yesterday’s Toronto Star reported Rick Hillier, Canada’s former Chief of Defence Staff, speaking truth to the Prime Minister’s Office when it attempted to have him hide the flag-draped coffin of the first female soldier killed in combat. “We ain’t gong to do that. It’s as simple as that.”
Shortly after Jane Garthson’s e-mail arrived, I got this one from a friend.
Brian my dear! You give me inspiration just when I need it!!!! I am just trying to draft a reorganization that considers the form and function question and your article hits all the right “notes” in our own organizational dilemma. I want to propose something radically different that just might achieve the goals but would be at the expense of power and position and “sameness” − horrors!
Good on her, as the Aussies say. My friend, understanding the risks, is prepared to hold a mirror up to her organization that points out that an existing form will have to change if a desired function is to be achieved. I know that there are all kinds of sophisticated employee attitude, organizational climate and opinion survey technologies out there that reportedly can be used to find out what’s going on in the minds and hearts of people. They may, in some circumstances, serve as useful mirrors. But reports can be shredded or filed and, as Henry Mintzberg once said, answers come easy on seven-point scales. Or was it five-point scales? I don’t remember. It doesn’t matter.
I have a suggestion that doesn’t involve the technological mediation of relationships. Well, it’s not so much a suggestion as a question. Although we may not think much about it, each of us has power in our relationships with family, friends, partnerships, colleagues, clients; people who can be our mirrors and from whom we can learn important things about ourselves. Here’s the question. Do we make it possible for people to speak truth to our power? Are we prepared to take the risks that will allow them to take risks with us? There’s one way to find out, I guess. Go out there and see if you can have a risky conversation.
